Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
