Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How's work?
Spinning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
