He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize