You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
