so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
