And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
