why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Boobs speak an international language.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
