once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
