My hand turned me down
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
