no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
