I have demons in me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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