Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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