I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
