She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
