Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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