my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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