can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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