You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just want nice things and good sex
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
