I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
