I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
