Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
