What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
