I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
