$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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