Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
