He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
