I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
