Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
