i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize