how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
