well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize