something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
