i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
