Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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