I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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