How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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