No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
