Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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