Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize