why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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