there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
