Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize