Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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