I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
