i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
