I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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