Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
