we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
