I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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