Me too!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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