She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize