Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
