I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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