Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
