i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize