Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
