Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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