I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
