i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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