At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need to align my fucking chakras
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