Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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