Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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