I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
