My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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