mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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