i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
