if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize