fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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