I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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