Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
