Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
