I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
that is very illegal...i love you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
