Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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