So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
