there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
