You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
