I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize