I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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